We’ll be welcoming our fourth baby this May! We’re excited and can hardly believe we just have a little over 3 months to go!
Cecilia is thrilled to become a big sister! She’s such a good little mama to her baby dolls.
This is a picture of our littlest from January 6 when we had our anatomy scan. We did not find out the gender and are looking forward to our surprise when baby arrives!
This is my 24 week belly on January 29.
I’m learning with each baby we have how little babies really need. I purchased a few new cloth diapers for this baby (we have a decent size stash of diapers from Cecilia) and we need to purchase a new car seat (planning to buy Cecilia a new one and let the baby use her current convertible seat.) I have a minimal gender neutral newborn wardrobe that was Cecilia’s and have managed to thrift a few muslin swaddles over the past few months. At this point, we pretty much need some newborn disposable diapers and a Rock N Play for the baby to sleep in for the first few weeks/months and we’ll be all ready to welcome baby number 4.
When I was pregnant with my first son, we were blessed with a ton of clothes from our showers and hand-me-downs.
I had so much fun organizing his little clothes. I sorted everything by size, putting newborn items in one drawer, 0-3 month and 3-6 month clothes in another drawer. I had two totes underneath his crib containing clothes that were 6-12 months and the other stored clothes that were larger than 12 months.
I thought I was super organized and ready for baby. The 0-3 and 3-6 month clothing would get our April baby through the summer and we had a ton of 6 month sizes for fall and 9 months for winter. He was set, I thought I wouldn’t have to buy a stitch of clothing for him because everything was so perfectly planned out!
I look back and laugh. I believed that because a little tag said 3-6 months on it that my child would wear it when he was in the age range of 3 to 6 months. I never even considered the fact that some of those 3-6 month items were as small as some newborn items we had or as large as some 12 month items. The tag said it, so I believed it!
My son was born weighing 8 pounds, 8 ounces and quickly began growing, my organized system was thrown out the window. He was wearing 9 to 12 month rompers and bodysuits by 3 months because he was so long! Items that he could have worn, never were worn just because the tag didn’t say he should be able to fit in the garment. And my perfectly planned out fall and winter wardrobe didn’t fit him so perfectly.
Once I finally realized that the tag doesn’t matter, I started talking to friends who admitted to me that they also thought the same thing when they were a first time mama.
With my second and third babies, I organized their clothes based upon what they looked like. If the tag said 6 months but was teeny tiny, I put it in the drawer with the newborn clothes. If it said 3 months but was big, it went in the bin of clothes to grow into.
So mamas, the reality is the size on the tag doesn’t really matter since all babies are different.
Of course you can still stock up on all sizes of baby basics like cotton bodysuits, pants and sleepers since babies wear them year round. And those new baby clothes you receive, leave the tag on them until after baby arrives in case you need to exchange.
As my children have grown, I’ve stopped focusing so much on what the tag said. Cecilia currently has clothes ranging in size 6 months to 2T in her wardrobe, the majority are 12-18 months but depending on the garment, the size may be smaller or larger. And, Weston has clothes ranging from 18 months (shorts) to 4T.
At the end of each season, any item that currently fits with a bit of room is tucked into their off season clothing storage bin. I’ve been surprised at the number of items, both tops and shorts, that they’ve been able to wear over the course of 2 summers or 2 winters.
Did you focus more on what the tag said than what the garment looked like with your first baby too?
When we were expecting our first baby, I didn’t have a gender preference. I knew that having a girl or having a boy would be wonderful!
When we found out we would be welcoming a baby boy, we were excited – I hoped he’d look like his daddy.
When he was born, he was just as I pictured, a dark haired baby boy and he did look like his daddy.
When we found out we were expecting our second baby, I just knew the baby was going to be a boy. Sure enough at our anatomy scan, we found out we were having a baby boy and we were so excited that Paxton was going to have a brother.
We did not feel like having another boy was disappointing, we were thrilled to be adding to our family.
I was quite content with my two boys. I started seeing myself as just a boy mom and couldn’t imagine having a baby girl in our family.
We decided not to find out the gender of our third baby and I was completely convinced that our third baby was a boy too. And, I was excited about the possibility of three boys and brothers so close in age. I did not view having three boys as anything but a blessing!
All during our third pregnancy, it seemed like everyone told us they thought we were having a girl and that we needed a girl. We were still sure our baby was a boy. We didn’t feel like we needed a girl for our family to be complete.
When our baby was born and we saw that we actually had a girl, we were shocked and surprised. We had a daughter! We were thrilled to welcome a baby girl into our family but we would have been just as excited to welcome a baby boy.
It seems like people think that you need one of each gender in order to be happy with your family. I think the excitement from others with my third pregnancy was because I already had two boys and everyone was just hoping I’d have a girl.
I have a feeling if/when we have a fourth baby (we hope to add to our family in a few years) that the pregnancy announcement won’t be met with as much excitement because we have one of each gender. Since Cecilia was born, when people ask me if we’re finished having kids, I jokingly say no, she needs a sister! (And, while I’d love for her to have a sister, adding another baby boy would be wonderful too.)
What is wrong with having two boys or three boys? Or two girls or three girls? Do people really think that families that have one boy and one girl are happier? Or do they think my family of two boys and one girl is better than a family of three girls or three boys? The mindset that everybody wants ‘one of each’ is crazy!
I’ve heard people make comments like, ‘maybe you’ll get your girl next time‘ or ‘you can try to have a boy next time,’ to women who are pregnant with their second (or third or forth) of the same gender. The baby they’re carrying is important and should be celebrated even though there is a same gender sibling.
Forget the silly one boy, one girl ‘perfect family’ ideal and celebrate each and every baby regardless of its gender.
These words weren’t uttered for the first time when he started crawling or on his first birthday. Instead, they were said on the way home from the hospital. He was just one day old!
I spent the first few months of his life sad.
I was sad he was growing, sad he wasn’t a newborn and sad he wasn’t going to stay a baby forever.
Once I realized mourning the past was keeping me from enjoying the present, I began fervently praying about the issue.
I prayed that God would allow me to be content with the season of life I was in, that He would take away the overwhelming sadness that my baby was growing too fast and that I would have joy throughout the years as my children grew.
My heart began to change.
I enjoyed my son in each and every stage instead of looking back on those early days with such longing.
I realized how blessed I am. How selfish it was of me to not want him to grow.
I thought about mamas who have never seen their child because of a miscarriage and mamas who held their stillborn baby only once. They would give anything to watch their babies grow.
I thought about the mamas who have a child diagnosed with cancer who just pray they can see their child grow up to graduate high school or get married.
I also thought of the women dealing with the grief of infertility, praying and hoping they’ll one day be blessed with a child they can watch grow.
How can I mourn my child growing when it is such a blessing that he is growing?Why should I allow the natural and beautiful process of a child growing to bring me sadness?
God really didn’t give us our children, he’s lending them to us for awhile as they grow. We are to raise them and train them to become independent men and women.
When my second and third babies were born, I cherished the moments, knowing the newborn days pass quickly. Those days passed but they were without sadness.
I am enjoying my children just as they are each and every day.
We cannot slow time down but we can slow down.
We can decide to live in the moment,choose to be joyful about our children growing and enjoy each season of motherhood.