No Big Deal

In the past year as I’ve watched my oldest son’s personality develop, I’ve learned more about myself.

Paxton is a typical firstborn, he’s quite particular about things and he’s a perfectionist. Watching him become frustrated over not being able to put puzzle pieces together or stack blocks ‘just so’ reminds me of myself.

And quite honestly, his 2-year-old reaction is how I want to react sometimes too when things don’t go quite how I want them to.

A phrase that’s used quite a bit these days in our home is ‘no big deal.’

When Paxton makes a mess or something gets broken, I tell him (and myself) that it’s no big deal.

Young children are going to make messes whether it’s coloring on the wall, spilling a cup of milk, peeing in the floor or breaking things. As a parent, you have to give your children grace in these situations.

A few weeks ago, as I was unloading groceries, I heard a loud crash in the house. I ran into the kitchen to see Paxton holding a broken worcestershire sauce bottle. After realizing he wasn’t seriously hurt and giving thanks that all I had was a big mess and a small cut to care for, I told him it was no big deal (and reminded him several times, he was quite upset by the mess!)

He was simply trying to help his mama and the bottle slipped from his hand. It took a good 30 minutes to get Paxton cleaned up, determine a clean up plan and get everything cleaned up.

When I was finished cleaning, Paxton walked into the kitchen and said, “It’s gone! You did good mama!”

And yes, I ‘did good’ cleaning up the mess, but more importantly, I ‘did good’ in my reaction to my son. Messes will be made, things will break and your plans will be altered but in the big scheme of things, it’s no big deal!

responses to “No Big Deal” 11

  1. In our house the phrase is "it's ok/alright!" I sometimes catch myself overreacting to situations just like this one and when I see her face start to pucker I stop, smile at her and say, "it's ok!" or "it's alright!" Most of the time she relaxes and I usually tell her I need her help to "fix it." She loves, loves, loves to help so if the situation is safe enough for her to help I allow her to help me clean it up!

    Thank you for the reminder that most of the "messes" really are, as you put it, "no big deal!" I struggle with remembering that sometimes – like days that I had a bad time at work. It's no excuse to take it out on my children when I get home but I'm guilty of it but through awareness of it I am getting better so this reminder is awesome for me!

    1. Paxton also loves helping clean up messes with me! I also remind myself that even though his 'help' takes twice as long to get the mess cleaned up, he's proud of himself and learning! 🙂

      1. I agree, the learning and pride far outweighs the length of time it takes. It's only time – time I will never get back and time well spent 🙂 Sometimes I just don't have the patience for the extra time but that's ok too – I just try and calmly tell her that mama needs to do it alone this time and could she help by doing …..fill in the blank…. task. It usually works.

  2. As mentioned above, this is a GREAT reminder Rachel! Thank you! I find that I have to tell myself "it's ok" (our home's phrase) more often than I do Rita! As a perfectionist and people-pleaser (both of which I daily turn over to the Lord, again and again) I fall prey to these ridiculous ideals of how our house should be/appear. My husband is such a source of grace in this area, as he always assures me that once the babies needs are met, then there will be time for our teamwork clean-ups.
    Rita definitely gets frustrated and I see that she really cares about my reaction/what I think when accidents happen. It's great when I assure her "it's ok" and when I can point to the fact that it is Jesus we need to please, not so much momma! Not that she shouldn't be obedient, but I think you know what I mean!

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